Tomorrow I’ll be turning 50. Hallelujah! Bring ‘um on. I’ll take every year I can have. As some of you know, my mother died when I was sixteen and she was forty-three. What you may not know is that her mother died at the age of forty-two when my mother was just thirteen. With that kind of family history, you can understand why I’m so gung-ho about this birthday and all the ones to follow.
Fifty, for me, represents both a finish-line and a starting-gate. I’m finished being a young lady. There isn’t a hairstyle, an outfit, a mascara or face cream out there that will ever make me look young. Not that I’m old, I’m just not a kid anymore, not-even close, and that’s a good thing. For the most part, I’m done saying “Yes,” when I mean “No.” Gone are the days that I fret over who likes me and who doesn’t. Size 8 is over, so is 20/20 vision. I’m not afraid of the police, I pay my bills on time, if something breaks I know how to get it fixed.
Approaching this finish-line has not been done with last-gasp efforts, no crash diets or cosmetic surgeries, no longing looks backwards. I’m focused ahead with wide-eyed wonder. I wonder what’s next? I’m a lover of life, and very little surprises me. I guess I’m still young enough to future trip, but I get it that it’s about the journey, not the destination.
What I bring forward is health, enthusiasm, and a smidgen of wisdom. I’m not yet an “old fool” but I’m old enough now to see stuff comin’, and I can get out of the way when I need to. I’m young enough to be flexible, but old enough to know where I stand. I make a conscious effort not to take people too seriously because who needs that? And I try not to take myself too seriously because that’s never pretty. I make mistakes and when I do, I work at cleaning them up as quickly as possible.
From this starting-gate, I see there is still plenty to strive for. Health and well-being could be a goal, and I don’t mean my own, I already have that. At this point in my life, it matters to me that others are happy. I don’t mean sugar gum-drops happy. I mean peace of mind happy. When I am surly to a telephone solicitor, when I honk my horn, when I’m short with a clerk, or when I wrangle somebody into negative gossip, I have to ask myself, “Have I improved that person’s day or worsened it?” My answer should be the former, and when it’s not, there’s the work.
Somewhere along the line, I got it in my head that I would live to be at least ninety years old. I could even see living to be one-hundred. If that should come to pass, then I’ve got another fifty years ahead of me. Lots of time to do lots of things. I wouldn’t be a bit surprised to find another novel in me. I’d like to learn to speak Spanish. I can’t say what the coming years will hold, I only know I want to be here when they arrive. I’m on my mark, I’m set, and I’m ready to keep going. Can I make another 50? I hope so.
Rita, Amy, Marian, and Barbara, Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! This birthday has truly been a memorable one. I’ve received so much love that I’m awash in radiant light. In the spirit of sharing, please help yourselves to as much of this glow as you desire; there’s an unlimited supply!
Hello Terry darling!
I just finished reading all of your blogs! Today is your 50th birthday; congratulations on another revolution around the sun! I beat you to it; I turned 50 on February 4th while sitting on top of an ancient Buddhist pagoda, watching the sunset in Bagan, Myanmar (Burma). It was the trip of a lifetime! I’ve spent the last several years traveling to places where i’m likely to get diarrhea. I’ve taken some much-deserved time off of nursing and left my band, as well. (Two very long stories that will have to wait until i see you in person.)
I just ordered your book and hope you will sign it for me someday!
Have a divine birthday and let me know if you’d like to get together sometime.
I’m on FB. May we always be in tune. Lovingly, Amy
P.S. Do you realize we’ve known each other since the 4th grade? !!!
Terry Sue – I loved this post. Thank you. Happy Birthday (and many, many more).
You wanted birthday stories? Here goes: When I turned 30, my soon-to-be estranged husband drove to town, returned with a potted tulip and handed it to me as if to say, “There. I have done my duty. Now can I go back out to the shop?” And I went back to diaper changing and toddler chasing.
At 40, the new husband threw me a party. It snowed and sleeted. My one true friend risked her life to drive over the mountain for me. Wow.
When I turned 50, I had yet another new husband. He also surprised me with a party, and only a few people showed up. My best friend, who lived 60 miles away, gave me back a set of wooden bowls that I had given her. I still treasure them (and her). This was my favorite birthday ever.
At 60, having realized how much I like not having a husband, I spent the day and night alone. I did not measure my progress, or plan my future. This is because I mostly get fearful in the future. The present is great, so I’ll hang out here, for a change. It makes me laugh to think how I got my panties all in a bunch over missing the goals I set for myself in my 20s, for heaven’s sake. And you know what? I still haven’t reached very many of them. Apparently, I am a really late bloomer, which made for some incredibly anxious hallmark birthdays.
I wonder what 70 will be like.
I hope you had (and are still having) the best day ever!
Rita
Thank you Barbara and Marian. Marian, allow me to introduce you to Barbara, she is who recommended Betty’s Fish and Chips; we must go when you’re in town. My calendar is marked. For those of you who are not on Facebook, Betty’s was a place I raved about recently.
I hope Tim does read my post and Marian’s comment, if only to know he’s not alone.
Happy Birthday Terry! I too just had a B’Day on the 21st I turned 56!
The years I have been given are very precious to me since I too have a family history of short lives. My died Mom at 62, my sister at 52, a brother at 37 and my Dad at 63. I truly feel like a survivor and at my not so great moments I feel guilt that i am still here and they are not. I look at this life as an opportunity to grow and evolve into who you are meant to be by our creator. I too always felt that I will live untill at least 93 and maybe even 100; I think that is so because HP knows that I will need a long time to get it right.
It is wonderful to see your progress in this social media world and be able to share your wonderful and blessed gifts with lots of people.
Zeki and I will be in town 8/29 – 9/7, Zeki has a friend from Germany who will be there at that time and I know he wants to spend some of the time with him but it would be really nice to get together with you and possible meet you husband. How about a bite to eat at your Fish & Chips joint. Let me know and we will try and arrange a time.
Love,
Marian
Hi Terry! I loved your blog! It really struck home for me. After I got past my 29th,I started looking forward to every year and decade that approached. What adventure I would embark on and what new things I would discover about myself and others. I still have a couple of years ’til 50 arrives but I am excited to see what it brings! You have a wonderful positive outlook on life and that will carry you far! You have given me your time and your advice which in one instance was life changing for me. You are a rare breed of person who actually listens to what others have to say and we could all take a page from your book of wisdom and understanding. You have been such a positive influence in my life and you will always have a special place in my heart. Thank you for making me feel special and beautiful EVERY time I leave your salon. You are te best gift I ever received thank you Georgette! As you know Tim just turned 50 also. He is having a real struggle with it. I am going to have him read your blog tonight I think it may be very helpful to him. Both his father and grandfather passed at 50 so you can understand his struggle. Have a wonderful birthday you wonderful girl!
Got any birthday stories to share? I’d love to hear them.