One of the wonderful aspects of public speaking is that I give myself permission to purchase something new to wear. This coming Monday I will be speaking at Book Passage in San Francisco. Book Passage is a world class bookstore in a world class city. I’m not scared; I really enjoy talking about my writing journey; however, It helps to feel prepared, which includes dressing appropriately. My friend Nellie Cravens, who produces our local non-profit little theater – Silver Moon Theater: www.http://silvermoontheatre.org/ – tells me that her actors often can’t fully develop their characters until they’ve put on the costume. I think that’s true for me as well. When all eyes are on me, I like knowing that I look the part.
Yesterday, I had a delightful day in Benicia, CA. The weather was perfect, warm and clear with a refreshing breeze coming off the Carquinez Strait, a waterway that feeds the Sacramento river into the San Francisco bay. Benicia is a sweet, historic town about 45 minutes from Sonoma. For a brief period of time in 1853 it had been the state capitol. First Street is were almost all the action is, to the extent that there is action. What they have done right on First St. is that they have kept chain stores out; each business is independently owned and operated, and that gives the area charm and soul that just can’t be found in shopping malls and corporate box stores.
My friend Jane and I strolled through some of the charming bungalow neighborhoods that Benica is known for. We stopped in at a couple of very fashionable clothing stores and poked around in a couple of antique dealerships. We had a very tasty lunch at The First Street Cafe, although our intention had been to go to The Camilla Tea Room. The Camilla Tea room was closed; it was the one week of the year that they close for a holiday.
While Jane and I were together we talked about all kinds of stuff, especially interesting when the stuff was about me < ; 0 ) Monday’s Book Passage event came up, and I had the chance to discuss something that has had me feeling a little out of sorts — the difference between my public performance self, and my private writer self. Until my friend had allowed me to air my thoughts, and she probed with some great questions, all I knew was that something was off. She really helped me see that these two aspects of myself are essential, yet very different. Being the entertainer is exhilarating, but I’m only “on stage” for a brief period of time, not nearly enough for the entertainer. Now my writer self finds all of that public performance piece to be a terrible nuisance; it gets in the way of writing time, time for deep, quiet contemplation. My job is to satisfy both of these opposing inclinations.
What really clarified all of this for me was when Jane and I were back outside walking around. We passed by a public swim center. A mother and her two young sons were just walking out the door, buoyant and smiling after an afternoon in the pool. The bigger boy bolted toward the car and jumped into, apparently, the preferred seat. The littler one was instantly distraught and wailing; bitterness, frustration, and anger were undeniable with every full tear that sprang from his eyes. Before too much distance separated us, I could hear the mother’s exasperated tone as she tried to console the little one, “We’re only going to be in the car for a few minutes.” My writer self ached for the little one, while my performer self rejoiced for the boy who “got there first.”
I didn’t want to leave Benica before showing Jane the famous hand-blown glass studio and retail store called Nourot. Jane has only recently moved to Sonoma from Tennessee, so Benica was all knew to her. Nourot is not on First Street, so I thought we were just going to do a drive by to show her where it was located. I though perhaps it was too much to ask her to go into still another shop, but she had no such thought, so we went in.
Now back to San Francisco and Book Passage. I will be sharing the evening with my Sonoma friend and fellow Left Coast Writer, Tami Casias. Tami has written a young adult novel titled Crystal Bound, and it’s about a girl who inherits metaphysical powers on her sixteenth birthday, but she can only use them to do good. Since my novel is titled Pearls My Mother Wore, we’re calling our event “Crystals and Pearls at Book Passage.” Everyone is encouraged to wear as many crystals and pearls as they’d like. So when I was at Nourot in Benica and found the pearls, crystals, and hand-made Murano glass-bead necklace and earrings show in the two top pictures, I just had to buy them. My costume! And you know what made the purchase even more significant? On the wall at Nourot were autographed pictures of celebrities who buy from them. One of the pictures was of a personal hero of mine, Tina Turner; they ship to her in the south of France. Now there’s a performer! And, I understand, she’s a practicing Buddhist. She, by all appearances, has managed to integrate her wildly public self and her quiet meditative self, so I’m going to keep her in mind on Monday when I’m at the front of the room at Book Passage, and I’m going to hope that I can rock the house.
Have a great week, and I’ll post again next Friday.
BTW, http://www.marcopolodesigns.com/ will take you to the website for Marco Polo Designs, the makers of my exquisitely gorgeous necklace and earrings.